Rhythm of the rain - trumso

"A cloud does not know why it moves in just such a direction and at such a speed, it feels an impulsion....this is the place to go now. But the sky knows the reason and the patterns behind all clouds, and you will know, too, when you lift yourself high enough to see beyond horizons," said Sandy the first time he took me to the air in his air plane with him.

Just then my brows would magically straighten and I would scream with excitement at the wonderful void. He taught me to read the shapes of the clouds and he taught me to smile wen I would be blue. He was a senior of mine at college and his dream was to make it to Harvard some day. He was this amazing bagpacker, visiting loads of people and ofcourse getting mad with them. Be it the old lady throwing pots and pans at someone or the child trying hard to fly a kite. Diffusion would seem inherent in him. I still remember how we had gone to an astrologer with a "tota" (parrot) and how it declared that Sandy would nt live for long and how we made fun of it.

Little did I know that it was just a premonition. One January morning, when he had to go for his medical tests for his visa,he was detected with brain cancer. He would often have black-outs and would live on strange medicines he would pick up himself. Thereafter bouts with the hospitals - initially i would spend hours with him and thereafter he would be in a state of unconsciouness mostly so as medical practitioners would put it, "No point being with him all the time now." Am not too sure if it was the point or the paling face that kept me away from him. I was scared to see somebody as live as him getting cold n dying.

Then it happened. One summer afternoon,we were in college writing papers and we were informed that "The time had come!" Some of us - the frenz rushed to the hospital where this wrinkled bit of Sandy would look up and smile. I sat beside him coz standing would mean not giving in to the weakenning knees. I held his hand to try and keep him back to the world this one last time. His hand slipped declaring to me, " Ah, you must be kidding!"

After some time wen i attempted to rise, I found the end of my sari caught somewhere.It was between two of his fingers. After he passed away, I received an e-card from him with a gesture of writing to me from the Garden of Paradise :-)

His e-cards still keep dropping to me up from my gloom. I know he loved me :-/