It all started with a mad rush to the hospital. Mrighanayini had a miscarriage on almost the third month of her pregnancy. Possibly a miscarriage takes awe with it more than the actual delivery of a baby after 9 months of gestation from the body of a mother.
My cheerful Nayini came back as a carcass of what she actually was a couple of days ago when I went in to see her with a huge chunk of her favorite mango flavoured Baskin Robbins ice-cream.
On the way back home, from the hospital, she would be very restless in the car initially. ...then in a fleeting moment, as my music system poised out, "Notting Hill" of Ronan Keating, she slowed down, wanted it to be played again n again n then collapsed on my lap. I let my fingers run through her hair and she shut her eyes for , am not sure for a thought or sleep.
Strange act of play of a life unborn yet so much there amidst us. There would be so many times Nayini would wake me up in the middle of the night to tell me how the foetus would be moving within her. I still remember how excited she would be at the first spot of its heartbeat. I would do so much of home-work in terms of getting my modus operandi done for an emergency situation of Nayini but everything seems falling apart like the house of cards.
Stream of thoughts shoved me passed a whirlpool of moments down memory lane n took me to the moment when I fell in love with a plain n simple geek, intelligent n down to earth guy. Never did I see him. I would read his mails, chat with him n occassionally catch him on the webcam. I would ofcourse spend long hours on the phone with him. I knew I had feelings for him but I would not have discovered how strong they were, had he not decided to walk out of it.
Initially thought it would be simple. Well, haven't seen him ever so how much could it actually take me for. It wasn't even 2 months of going around. ...but something happened in me. I came back to the present with a jolt to find tears rolling out of Nayini's shut eyes. This time I knew what was on within her. I raised her and held her close and tight to me.
Later in the week, we built a tree-house in Nayini's farm house and we put all the presents that would come flowing in to congratulate the wombing mother and the to be born child in there. We spent a lot of time there and we finally managed to recover from our losses in our own ways.Perhaps trying to forget is nothing but a way of escaping reality. So we decided to face it :-)
